Do I have a chance at becoming good friends with this guy?

Note that synastry requires two charts to be set up and analysed so, before asking, please make sure that this is a serious relationship. This is a free board and our time to respond is limited.
Cupcake30
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Do I have a chance at becoming good friends with this guy?

Post by Cupcake30 »

Based on this synastry do I have a chance at becoming friends with him? I'm on the outside.

Image

We are both in our early 30's and I met him where he works. We went out a couple of weeks ago and also had sex. But we had fun together regardless of the sex.
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Re: Do I have a chance at becoming good friends with this guy?

Post by admin »

Hi Cupcake,

More delays as I had accidentally posted in here (and now removed) the wrong information.

(Seems like this current Mercury retrograde is the culprit and is playing his games - not that I wish to 'blame' the planets for my error !) :cry:

Admin.
"Don't let the illusions of your past or future rob you of the infiniteness of your present." [Unknown]
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Re: Do I have a chance at becoming good friends with this guy?

Post by admin »

Hi Cupcake,

Is this better late than never ?

This relationship is activating a particular innate natal relationship pattern for you and you may find he wants or expects more and he may become possessive...or perhaps you may do this. However, this isn’t a given. Nonetheless, he has a tendency to idealise any partner to whom he becomes attached so it might be a good idea to be aware of this.

My first thought was that perhaps you’d like to keep it as ‘friends – with benefits’ but I’m not entirely sure that he sees it this way. Whether or not this is the case, there are blockages or interference with taking the relationship to other levels, and it will depend I suspect, more on you than on him as to how or whether the relationship proceeds. I think you need to make sure you know more about his background, or in other words...is he already in a relationship ? Do you think he wants more or, do you want more ? Perhaps you don’t at this point, but just be aware of this, as and if, the relationship goes further.

I think you’ll need to tread carefully with his feelings as he may be more sensitive than you are aware or than he shows. Certainly you relate well together on the surface, and at this level, it can feel very rewarding and enjoyable, even exciting as not least of all, you’ve met when Uranus is conjunct your Sun... and Uranus is nothing if not stimulating. The other side of this is that when the initial excitement wears off, it can become irritating especially if proposed meetings get changed frequently because of other matters interfering, or if you’re in different moods from each other.

I’d say that this relationship is important for both of you, even if it may not feel that way...at least initially. But as always it will depend on how each of you deals with the way it progresses. Best not to take for granted that he feels the same way as you do about it.

In the Composite chart, Pluto is at the root of the relationship and this alone suggests that any difficulties either or both of you have with jealousy or possessiveness will come out or appear, sooner or later. I see too that in the Composite chart, Saturn and Uranus fall either side of the Vertex in the 5th House (romance) and so I suspect that IF you can keep it at the level at which it’s been so far, then you’ll both enjoy it.

Transiting Uranus is conjunct the Composite Venus, which increases all of what I’ve said here before about excitement and stimulation. However, as Uranus continues his journey into Taurus, he also squares the Composite Ascendant which suggests ‘off again/on again’ and so on.

On the other hand, transiting Saturn and Pluto are going back and forth across the Composite Moon which may either intensify and cement the relationship, or else may bring to light difficulties that end it. Whether the relationship will survive the tests of this combination I have no way of knowing, as of course it will depend on how each of you deals with any pressures that result from this.

Nonetheless, I think that both of you have a great opportunity to learn and grow as a result of this relationship. Well, of course, we all have opportunities to do such from any relationship as each helps us to understand more about the way others affect us, and therefore about ourselves, our needs, and also the needs and sensitivities of others.

Enjoy it while it’s there, and if it goes further than this, be as aware as you can be about the effect it’s having on both of you.

Hope this helps.

Best,
Admin.
"Don't let the illusions of your past or future rob you of the infiniteness of your present." [Unknown]
Cupcake30
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Re: Do I have a chance at becoming good friends with this guy?

Post by Cupcake30 »

Thank you so much for your input a few things I want to mention. He and I didn’t just meet we initially met a few years ago. I met him where he works years ago. I would talk to him at the store whenever I would go there. But it wasn’t until recently that we actually got to know each other. You stated that one of us may become possessive. Are you unsure as to whether or not it would be him or me? We’ve been out once and we had a nice time together. We did have sex but I enjoyed his company regardless of the sex. Like we actually had fun together. I’m not going to push anything I like being friends first. I’m not sure how he feels at all because he’s so reserved. Yes I know he’s sensitive and I do keep that in mind. I do talk to other guys which is ok sense we aren’t in a relationship. I just hope that he and I will become good friends because I enjoy him. Thanks again for your input I truly appreciate it! :)
Cupcake30
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Re: Do I have a chance at becoming good friends with this guy?

Post by Cupcake30 »

I don’t want a romantic relationship with him. But I do want more of him if that makes sense. You mentioned that there are blockages or interference that are keeping the relationship from going to the next level. What exactly does that mean?
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Re: Do I have a chance at becoming good friends with this guy?

Post by admin »

I'm sorry that I didn't get back to your other questions sooner but posting a note like that was quite rude given how much time I've already spent on your synastry matters.

We all work here just to help others in the midst of our own busy lives, and charge nothing for doing so.
Furthermore you have said you don't want a romantic relationship with this person and just want to be friends and so I responded to many others who are actually having very difficult times in their lives.

If you still want me to respond to your questions I will do so tomorrow.

Admin.
"Don't let the illusions of your past or future rob you of the infiniteness of your present." [Unknown]
Cupcake30
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Re: Do I have a chance at becoming good friends with this guy?

Post by Cupcake30 »

I wasn’t trying to be rude it was a general question. It just seems like some people are ignored while others don’t.
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Re: Do I have a chance at becoming good friends with this guy?

Post by Cupcake30 »

But yes I would still like if you were to answer my questions thank you.
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Re: Do I have a chance at becoming good friends with this guy?

Post by admin »

Hi Cupcake,

I realise you weren’t ‘trying to be rude’ but it’s frustrating for us here to read something like that when we’re all doing the best that we can with the time we have available. And with regard to the matter of ‘some people being ignored’ – well, no-one is purposely ignored. Again it’s just a matter of us all trying to find the time to answer everyone’s queries, and unfortunately, in the process, some get missed.

Now to your last question.

This matter of blockages or interference I feel is due to both of your Saturns opposite his Sun/Chiron, and opposite your Chiron/Mars. In other words, it seems that somehow there’s an underlying fear on both sides of being held back or limited in some way if the relationship should go further or develop into something deeper; or of being ‘judged’ by the other person, or of having the freedom each of you needs independently being curtailed or limited.

The longer this relationship continues, the more you will discover the deeper and more difficult feelings that you can evoke in each other. At that point it will depend on whether each or both of you are ready and willing to support each other’s issues or feelings.

If the relationship stays at the level of just a ‘friendship’ where you both allow each other the freedom you need and seem to be experiencing so far, then you may be able to – as friends – not only support each other in difficult times, but also sustain the relationship and learn much about yourselves from it too which could enable you to experience other relationships in the future with more self-knowledge and understanding.

Hope that makes it clearer for you.

Best,
Admin.
"Don't let the illusions of your past or future rob you of the infiniteness of your present." [Unknown]
Cupcake30
Posts: 10
Joined: Mon Sep 17, 2018 7:25 am
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Re: Do I have a chance at becoming good friends with this guy?

Post by Cupcake30 »

Well I do understand his need for freedom that’s not an issue for me as I like having my freedom as well. We did have sex I’m not saying that makes a difference. But do you think sex would make things complicated?
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