Only just friends or more?

Note that synastry requires two charts to be set up and analysed so, before asking, please make sure that this is a serious relationship. This is a free board and our time to respond is limited.
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Kleinemaus89
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Only just friends or more?

Post by Kleinemaus89 »

Hello everybody

Few month ago I met a guy. Last week on Friday and Saturday we went going party and he was very affectionate and attracted to me (I also to him). I think it's because of the venus /pluto conjunction in my first house and Venus trine Pluto. But we can't be together. Since this weekend my feelings are very confused because of him. The last month when we saw only a few times a week and he don't were so cute to me, it was ok. But last week it was like I never want to let him go l, kissing and touching Everytime. I don't know what he is feeling for me, he called me "little sister". But a little sister I don't touching, kuddling with her Everytime and stroke her legs 🤔. He also had said first we met, that I'm very attractive to him and I think Uranus is here the key because next year it transit my DC and oppose his venus in August. I have never felt such an attraction when I'm around him. But I don't want this, when I could choose I want to cut him out of my life but I can't because we are have the same friends and hobby.

I don't know how to deal with him.
Best regards
Kleinemaus89
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Re: Only just friends or more?

Post by Kleinemaus89 »

Here it is
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admin
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Re: Only just friends or more?

Post by admin »

Hi Kleinemaus,

As with previous relationships, please give BIRTH DATA for this person. (You can of course 'pm' me with this info).

Best,
Admin.
"Don't let the illusions of your past or future rob you of the infiniteness of your present." [Unknown]
Kleinemaus89
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Re: Only just friends or more?

Post by Kleinemaus89 »

Hello
Thank you
I have sent you the data

Best regards Tanja
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Re: Only just friends or more?

Post by admin »

Dear Kleinemaus,

With your knowledge of astrology, I’m sure you can see that with transiting Uranus sitting right now on your 7th House/Relationship cusp that this is why you’re leaping from one relationship to the next, and also choosing partners with strong Uranus contacts to planets in your own chart, such as with this person, whose Uranus is opposite your Sun/Jupiter. It’s that really exciting but also on/off/hot/cold energy in play.

Add to that, his Venus conjunct your Asc. and Pluto, and his Pluto (in your 12th) trine your Venus, and the fascination is in full force. But you see, his Venus is conjunct his Saturn (his Saturn exactly conjunct your Pluto), and this might be a problem for him, not least of all as it’s all in Scorpio. I suggest - if you haven’t already done so - that you research Venus conjunct Saturn in someone’s natal chart, and perhaps you might see too, why he called you “little sister”.

Also I see that his Mercury is conjunct your Neptune/Saturn, while your Mercury is quincunx his Neptune, so in some way, it’s hard for you both to understand the ‘signals’ you’re sending to each other. You can misunderstand each other’s words. I note too that his Jupiter is opposite your Moon, and this suggests again that he might appear to be offering to you more than he actually intends or means.

Yes, with your Sun/Jupiter conjunct his North Node, there’s a mutual benefit in your relationship in some very positive and helpful way, and from your words I would think that is with regard to your mutual hobbies and interests.

This relationship may go further and deeper, especially as transiting Saturn retrogrades back towards the sextile with his Saturn conjunct your Pluto. But, do remember that with transiting Uranus conjunct your Asc. you’re going to be attracted towards this kind of relationship, and then changing your mind and finding someone else, also exciting but also possibly a little cool or distant. In fact the last thing you’re looking for at this time (and especially now and then during the first 6 months of next year) will be someone who ‘needs you too much’, or who gets so close they try to control you or smother you...even if you think or feel you want them so much you’ll...burst.

What you’re looking for from now on (and for several years), is your own independence and freedom in a relationship. And if you don’t recognise this, you’ll keep attracting ‘free spirits’, or partners about whom you ask the question: “Only just friends or more ?”. This person can teach you a lot about this ‘freedom of spirit’, simply by being who he is.

So, enjoy it while it’s there and – hard though it is or may be – try not to see him as ‘The One’...at least not until you’ve figured out all of that Scorpionic interplay between you and what it might mean to and for you. And remember that Saturn is nearing the end of your ‘Saturn Return’ as he sits stationary/direct only 1 degree past it in a month’s time. And have you looked at your Solar Return ? Lots to learn during these next few months dear Tanja !

Best,
Admin.
"Don't let the illusions of your past or future rob you of the infiniteness of your present." [Unknown]
Kleinemaus89
Posts: 106
Joined: Mon Oct 29, 2018 6:00 am
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Re: Only just friends or more?

Post by Kleinemaus89 »

Hello Dear

Yes that's right. When I recognize someone would do much for me I don't "love" him. I need my own freedom in relationship that know I. I want to be inrependrnt from mens. It's not easy beeing around him without kuddling. Sometimes it's to much attraction. I cut off every guy which is too emotional to me in both ways or I to him.

But with scorpio ac and so much planets in 8th house is such a passionate relationship not what I'm looking for?

Do he call me "little sister" because persons with Saturn conjunct venus like to care about someone and because it's conjunct my AC? And I also read that people with this aspect when they are older prefer younger partner/friends? I met him during my first solar return, when Saturn Sextil his venus and also Uranus was in Sextil to my Venus 🤔. Does this mean this this "friendship" ends then?

Yes, that's right when we go out (with friends or alone) he's caring for me in some way and I think he likes that. And I also feel protected by him in some way. It's not that I want him so much and see him as the one. (Saturn Sextil Pluto is there realistic) It's only I'm confused in my feelings. In some way in general I want to have a relationship which is passionate but also want to have my freedom (doing things on your own and don't think about someone all the time). Thats the reason I'm asking here because I feel the passion with venus /pluto but also the distance. I see his weaknesses, not like the other guys which I idealized so much.

What I also recognized is that my moods, there are many ups and downs, caused by outer events or persons. Is it also Uranus (ruler of 4th) conjunct DC?
Kleinemaus89
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Re: Only just friends or more?

Post by Kleinemaus89 »

Hello could please say why the venus, Saturn, Pluto conjunction is a problem for him?
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Re: Only just friends or more?

Post by admin »

Dear Kleinemaus,

Re: “But with scorpio ac and so much planets in 8th house is such a passionate relationship not what I'm looking for?”.

Yes, Scorpio (and Pluto in Scorpio) Rising surely seeks passion and intensity. However, you have then to take into account that you have Sun, Jupiter, Moon and Venus in Gemini in your 8th, and Gemini seeks and needs variety, constant change and freedom to flit from one ‘intense’ experience to another without staying long enough to plumb the depths of each experience. And in your own words, you don’t allow the deeper experience – which inevitably involves powerful emotions – to give you the ultimate passion that results from fully ‘merging’ on every level with another. Remember the act of sex, involves ‘surrender’ and isn’t just about orgasm, especially in the 8th.

I suspect that this is why you’re not finding the deep inner fulfilment that one part of you needs and wants. And it’s that part of you that keeps attracting or is attracted to those with whom you have all these powerful Pluto inter-aspects.

I note that you have a ‘Yod’ (quincunx aspects) from your Sun in the 8th, to your Pluto in the 1st, and to your Neptune/Saturn in your 3rd (Gemini’s natural abode). The quincunx is about ‘choices’ and the need to constantly make decisions between two (or more) paths. And this current Uranus transit is surely, as you suggested, adding to these constant “ups and downs”.

Think back to 2000/2001 which is when transiting Pluto came to the opposition to your Sun and sat at the midpoint of your Pluto/Saturn. You were only 11 or 12 during that period so it might be hard to find or remember anything specific. But if you can do so, and if you can make connections with relationships in recent years, it might give you some clues as to what’s been going on for you during these last few years.

Of course, also now, transiting Pluto is opposite your Mars in Cancer, and this is whole story all of its own which I can’t go into here, so I suggest you study up on that. But bearing in mind that Mars and Pluto are co-rulers of Scorpio, I’m sure you can see the battle that’s going on here within you, and with others, especially in the sexual arena. Suffice it to say that it’s about a massive transformation of this whole issue of sex and passion and...emotions. Mars in Cancer is easily hurt emotionally, and so this too can make it hard for you to give yourself emotionally to another.

It does seem like – with the help of Saturn – you are discovering more about this, as in your own words you say that this time you “see the (his) weakness” rather than over-idealising him.

Re your question about why your Pluto conjunct his Venus/Saturn is a problem for him, I’d suggest that he may sense or feel at some level of his being that he might end up hurt in some way. Venus/Saturn is always fearful of this anyway, and your Pluto – at least in a short-term relationship – might be triggering this feeling – even without either of you realising it consciously. (That’s a very brief ‘explanation’ as unless the relationship becomes long-term, way too hard to try to figure out, and certainly not to do so here). Have you researched - as I suggested - Venus/Saturn ? This should go at least part of the way to helping you understand this configuration between you.

Please do try to understand at least some of this before your Gemini dashes on to your next question(s).

Best,
Admin.
"Don't let the illusions of your past or future rob you of the infiniteness of your present." [Unknown]
Kleinemaus89
Posts: 106
Joined: Mon Oct 29, 2018 6:00 am
Contact:

Re: Only just friends or more?

Post by Kleinemaus89 »

Hello Dear

Thank you for this text. Yes I have read the text of venus / Saturn
It's like they often felt unloved and fear of beeeing rejected. He tries sometimes to manipulate me, but I don't do play thus game with him, only when I want. I see this scorpio staff so. He wants to play and confirmation from me but as I'm also strong scorpio it's harder for him to get this from me because I notice this more - these power games and can control them in some way or deny it when I want. Also my Pluto on his venus is more stronger than his Pluto trine my Venus, especially this conjunction is in my first house and pluto first house ruler. When I don't play with him his games, he felt rejected and go away. And as I'm more emotionally at the moment with Pluto transit Mars, I will be angry then and see this as unloyal from him And I also have no problem to cut him off, out of my life. And maybe he felt this. But this with the little sister i don't know.

Does this sound clearly?
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