Looking for incite into natal chart

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RSF424
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Looking for incite into natal chart

Post by RSF424 »

Hello all,

I would appreciate any insight you could give into my natal chart. I have tried to do my own analysis but find the complexity of integrated aspects confuses me considerably. Although I do believe that identity struggles are a central theme to it.

As a little about me, I am a 28 year old male who works in the scientific research community as a technician. I am somewhat new to the field but already feel much more comfortable in my role and the people I work with than at any other job I’ve held before.

I have struggled with depression and an inability to relate to other people emotionally all my life. Often feeling entirely removed from my environment as if I reside far away from everything. Ironically people don’t seem to perceive this in me. I am often confided in by both people close to me and new acquaintances and while I do try to help people in need, I feel no resonance with their emotional state. I am just able to accurately interpret them.

That said, I have had several periods in my life where I felt a complete connection to life and comfortable with my role in it. Yeah try to hold on to that feeling but it gets more difficult as time goes on and the routine of daily life sets in.

I would welcome any advice or observations. Thank You.
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Noel Eastwood
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Re: Looking for incite into natal chart

Post by Noel Eastwood »

Hi rsf, I've removed your name from your birth chart to allow you to remain anonymous, I hope you don't mind as this is an open forum. I'm going to be quite direct and forward in answering your question so get ready :)

The first I've noticed is that your Sun is nicely placed on your 7th house cusp, it is a great placement for meeting with and being with people. It is however the focal planet of a T-square from Saturn and Jupiter. Those two planets get you into strife when you want to do things, it can make you feel quite frustrated.

Saturn wants to slow things down and Jupiter wants to race ahead. One foot on the brake while one foot is on the accelerator. Your Sun, being the focal planet is trying his darndest to keep these two planets in balance somehow. That means he is not fully able to be himself, he is simply too busy. It has a rather awkward impact on the role the Sun plays in your life, self-esteem and confidence.

This aspect by itself is enough for me to suggest that you learn a bit more about astrology and meditation. And if you feel up to it, I'd also suggest some coaching, learn to mind map and create goals, achievable goals. Then create those goals using your mind, you can learn some of this in my newsletter and in my free online course - it's all in my signature below.

Next you have Mercury in Aries who just wants to have fun and get on with things but he is needed to balance your other T-square with Uranus, Neptune and North Node opposing Mars. Now this is all about communicating (3rd to 9th house opposition and of course Mercury) which suggests that you struggle to say what you want to say with perhaps some learning issues. This is another toughy that you can get a handle on from your mind maps, goal setting and lots of directed meditations.

You've certainly got some interesting lessons for this lifetime but they are definitely not insurmountable.

Moon, ah, lovely, sitting in the 11th house of other people's welfare. She is in the generous and helpful sign of Virgo. You have a nice earthy Moon, that plus your earthy Taurus helps keeps you grounded. Your Venus is quiet well aspected, she is in the friendly sign of Gemini and in the 8th house of transformation.

Your ascendant is Scorpio with Pluto inside and that tells me that you take things seriously, and have an interest in life beyond death and in the occult. It also means that the advice I just gave you goes up a level.

I'd suggest you take me up on the free newsletter and astrology course, you'll learn a lot about what I've been talking about too.

OK, I'll let you digest what I've said, it's a lot and you can get back to me with comments and questions when you are ready.
RSF424
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Re: Looking for incite into natal chart

Post by RSF424 »

Thank you Noel,

What you said does ring true for me generally.

I have often felt little connection to my sun sign, but identified quite strongly with many characteristics of my ascendant. Now as far as people go, I have always felt little need to be around other people and find large groups drain me entirely. The more people are around it seems the less of me is engaged. And I often feel like I don’t exist in the same dimensions as other people making it difficult to relate. I do seem to do better in one on one interactions where there is a particular issue or problem that needs to be worked. And often find myself unexpectedly in the role of counselor in such situations.

I did struggle quite a bit in school and communication was the primary reason. I’ve always struggled to articulate my thoughts to others. In writing and speech it seems as if the mere act of trying to reach out to another disrupts my thoughts entirely. And what gets communicated is muddled or is received in a manner I didn’t intend. I’ve also always excelled at conceptual thinking and enjoy working with complex systems and analysis, but I find it difficult to focus on the details of a problem.

I have also had periods where was seemingly no barrier between thought and speech and I found I could speak for hours at length and in depth without tiring. However, this state of being seems to disconcert most people more than my normal state and I find it frustrating. Like there is no middle ground.

I have tried some meditation and usually that is what leads to my ability to speak clearly. But I’ve found it difficult of late to focus. I found my entry to meditation through massage, which to me served as a sort of guided meditation of the body and has helped me to open up in many respects.

I do feel that this is a good time in my life to come to terms with some of these issues. So I really appreciate your advice. I will give your courses a try.
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Noel Eastwood
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Re: Looking for incite into natal chart

Post by Noel Eastwood »

rsf, yes, do make use of those free services I think it will help, it does for others. If you have not already started I'm going to suggest you also begin to lay foundations for your future growth and by that I mean adding to your meditations and esoteric studies by looking into whole plant foods to replace any junk food and animal products you might be consuming now. We know that animal products especially dairy, are not conducive to good health and that includes mental health. So, over the coming months, look at ways to limit consumption of animal products and replace with whole plant foods.

Re your communication, speaking is always difficult for anyone with a conflicted Mercury or 3rd house, like you and me. I find that I can compose my thoughts so much better on the computer. It gives me time to put my thoughts into order, to structure what I really to say rather than having to rely on stream of consciousness which is usually what happens. That is why I suggested you look into mind maps and goal setting, it draws upon the processes you naturally have. This places them into chunks of information that is easily digested by the reader. That plus goal setting using your meditation works wonders, it is a form of preparation for speaking. I can see why massage works so well for you - it gets you back into your body and allows it to function as a whole.

All the best a let me know how things go.
RSF424
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Re: Looking for incite into natal chart

Post by RSF424 »

Hi Noel, I have had a look at your learning materials and found the to be helpful. Surprisingly to me the meditations were very illuminating. So thank you for your advice.

I tried meditations on the first, fourth, seventh, and tenth hoses since those all seem to have tension between them. The ascendant was a feminine figure, long of limb with a sharp narrow face and is composed of starlight almost invisible but with a powerful presence. I feel a fierce sense of fierce pride from her and a loving protective aura that is very soothing. She says to me that I have nothing to fear, that I am equal to any challenge I choose for myself and she wants me to see that I am unique precisely because of the attributes I hide from others. She wants me to realize that I have no idea how other people really view me and I need to them and myself more credit.

The fourth house Aquarius looks like an ancient being carved from rock or petrified wood. He has a great furrowed brow and is surrounded by high stacks of books and a telescope at his back. He tells me he is very tired but he cannot stop his work. That he must remember the mistakes of the past and do his best to avoid catastrophe but others seldom listen to him. I ask him if there is anything I should know he says I don’t think so, you’ve learned your lessons well but he is still nervous for me. Saying that I walk a tight rope with oblivion on either side and that I must always be mindful and focused on what I am trying to achieve and why. I feel a great sense of gratitude towards this being but don’t know how to express it.

The seventh house where my sun resides fills me with foreboding. It’s utterly dark where he is but I can sense his form to be that of a dragon seething with a controlled rage that I have felt within myself only once at great cost. I know intimately what he is feeling for he is me. It is a deep resentment at all existence. Born of betrayal, he wishes to escape from all relation to the universe. I ask him if it was his choice to live in the dark, he says not at first but that he now prefers it to being out in the world. Less chance of disappointment. I look around me and feel another presence, i cannot make out its form as it seems very far away, but it is solemn and calming. It looks out and tells me that it has watched the world and feels a longing to return to it. It asks me to help and I say that I have tried. It says to continue to try and to remember the that the times that I have allowed myself to be vulnerable and share myself with others have been the most profound and wonderful times of my life despite the pain. It folds into itself and fades into the background but the rage is gone.

The tenth house in Leo with Jupiter is joyous alive with boundless energy. His body is flame with long wild hair and he greets me like an old friend. He says “it’s good to see you old friend.” I didn’t think you would make it but here you are. Ready for what’s ahead?” I tell him that I don’t know, life feels so uncertainty times. He interrupts me. “Yes it is marvelously uncertain and it’s time you reveled in it. That’s why I’m here, to make sure you don’t go taking yourself to seriously.” I thank him for the energy and vitality he imbues me with but ask him why I feel so tired generally. He apologizes then saying that it’s not his intention but he wants someone to dance with and often gets carried away in the moment.

I do feel that these thoughts help me see the crux of that tsquare better and re-contextualize my dilemma of personality which is fragmented in the extreme. I don’t know how to make these different aspects communicate with each other. But I think I will start with taking better care of my body with diet and exercise. I have had one transformative event in my life where I felt more unified and that feeling was a direct result of being breathing, meditation, and massage. All of which coaxed the fragments out into the light. I have lost that feeling lately out of fear of being rejected or controlled if I act as I truly am. But I cannot go on living the way that I was knowing what is possible now.
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Noel Eastwood
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Re: Looking for incite into natal chart

Post by Noel Eastwood »

RSF, you have made some amazing discoveries. Don't rush, that is the most important lesson at this stage, go very slowly, take what they say with a grain of salt, the early part of the journey within is always one to be wary of.

I don't mean this in a bad way but what the archetypes say and present at the start of your journey is very raw mixed with fantasy and your conscious mind getting in the way. At this early stage I suggest that you do the same meditation with the archetypes three times. For example, if you work with Aquarius on the 4th cusp then visit with him, chat a bit and then come back to consciousness. Relax then go back in. Do this three times. Usually the third time it is clearer and provides the archetype with the psychic space to say what he / she wants to say - clearer and without interference with your conscious mind.

They won't hurt you either, as you have discovered, they want the very best for you. So keep doing but slowly and record it in your journal. Then keep coming back to examine and discuss what they said.

I am very pleased that you have taken this enormous step to go within the 'cave' of your unconscious. Most people are afraid of their inner world but with your powerful Scorpio Ascendant this is what you need to do in this life - to go within for there lies your destiny. Just do it slowly and with a rope that leads you back to the cave entrance. Stay in touch and let me know what happens next.
RSF424
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Re: Looking for incite into natal chart

Post by RSF424 »

I’ve been doing a bit more of meditation on the my planets as individuals instead of as larger entity and found it very useful. I found that the manifestations of the outer planets wanted me to focus less them for the time being and get to know the inner planets better. Pluto in particular told me her role was as a tender to the flame. If i burn to hot she will build a new fire, but given as we have just gone through such a process, I need to allow it to burn evenly as there’s no growth in starting over again now.

Venus seems to be the key to growth in the future for me, and I’ll admit I have given very little thought to her thinking I didn’t need or want anything in that domain, or was incapable of doing so. I have.gravitated towards solitary pursuits my entire life, but as I reflect on the last year. I find that when I felt the most myself was when I attempted to express my thoughts to others honestly and without shame. The more I did that, the more access I had to the deeper parts of my psyche and the more content I felt with who I was.

It dawns on me know that that was largely a Venus connection that allowed me to be that way, although I think Jupiter also had a role to. I still need to examine what Venus means to me and how I can best become part of a social community as that has been a large struggle in my life up to this point.

I also sense that my Virgo moon is overwhelmed right now. I’ve had the most trying and emotionally difficult time of my life this year and have been feeling dead on my feat the last few weeks and I think this is why. I don’t really know how to recover. But I think for a start I just need to make sure I get adequate sleep as that’s been difficult to come by lately.
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Re: Looking for incite into natal chart

Post by Noel Eastwood »

rsf, you are doing really well in your meditations. The important thing about working with the archetypes is to go nice and slow, don't rush it. This is all new for you so enjoy it.

And you will notice that sleep becomes fun, dreams become a place of learning and release. Keep doing and stay in touch, these are very early days so slow and steady is good. When you are ready we'll move to the next stage of your journey.
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