Feeling like a guest

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MajorTom
Posts: 17
Joined: Sun Jun 16, 2019 7:57 am
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Feeling like a guest

Post by MajorTom »

Hello everyone; I’ve already posted here recently with a completely different question on my mind, but I have another one which I’m pondering over for quite some time already, and would be grateful to get some insight.
If looking at my chart, are there any indicators that could explain my feeling of alienation in the world? I often feel like a guest here, who popped here to experience it all as well. And I’ve always observed (with curiosity, I have to mention) the world like an outsider of some sort. It all probably does sound very weird though

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admin
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Re: Feeling like a guest

Post by admin »

Hi Major Tom,

Welcome to Planet Earth ! You are definitely not alone in this feeling of alienation here even though inevitably, it does feel like that. (I waited, hoping that others would see your post about this and chime in here with their experiences and viewpoints before I replied).

(By the way, I couldn’t help but notice that your Vertex is exactly conjunct David Bowie’s Sun/Mars conjunction !).

But trivia aside, I’d suggest that with 4 planets in Aries (including your Sun) in the 9th House – this alone has you ‘reaching for the stars’ and finding it hard to deal with your more earthy planets (Mars in Virgo and Moon in Capricorn – both ‘below the horizon’, or in other words in the ‘inner/subjective’ part of your self).

Add to this, your Sun conjunct Saturn in Aries in that 9th ‘Higher Mind/search for understanding’ in sextile to your Uranus/Jupiter in Aquarius – always seeking the ‘truth above and beyond the apparent reality’, and this might start to give you a sense too of why you may always be asking ‘Why ?’, or ‘What on earth is going on here on this world ?’ that you find yourself in.

And we can add more to this. Your 4th House cusp is in Scorpio, and in that House you have Scorpio’s Ruling Planet, Pluto in Sagittarius in trine to your Venus/Saturn/Sun in forward-looking and fiery Aries in your 9th. (Sagittarius is the ‘natural’ 9th House). Perhaps it is that when you start to dig in deeper into your family and past, you then almost automatically, start to seek understanding and the meaning of it all, and ‘take off to unknown realms’ so to speak.

Currently, and as you’re aware, transiting Pluto and Saturn are in Capricorn, and right now (and for some time past and to come), Pluto is in trine to your Mars in earthy Virgo in your 2nd House (a ‘naturally’ earthy House). And given that Mars rules all your Aries planets up in that 9th House, I suspect that whilst Pluto is retrograde, this feeling of alienation is being emphasised.

I would add here that your South Node in Pisces (in the 8th/Scorpio’s natural abode) would increase this sense of ‘weirdness’ or disconnection with reality, perhaps especially with family, or with any – what would be considered – ‘normal’ relationships with others...not least of all as your Neptune is in sextile to this South Node. This gives a strong connection with these ‘other-worldly’ feelings and, even though it may be disorienting at times – and to say the least - it’s also a very beautiful, even spiritual, connection. Well, once you understand it.

As transiting Pluto and Saturn turn and move forward through earthy Capricorn in your 5th House (the natural abode of the Sun and one’s individuality), and move into your 6th House (Virgo’s natural House and another ‘earthy’ area) I think you’ll begin to find answers to this sense of alienation. And this not least of all as these planets come to the trine with your North Node in Virgo. (As you’re no doubt aware, the North Node is considered to be our path forward in life). Virgo and the 6th House are about routine matters, work schedules, everyday maintenance and so on – not an easy area for you I would suspect given that you have Neptune and Jupiter conjunct Uranus in ‘not of this planet’ Aquarius. (If you haven't done so before, it might be worth your while researching the mythology of Uranus to understand this more).

Add to this that transiting Uranus is in your 9th House – also retrograde at the moment. This brings question after question, especially as it moves closer to the end of that area and begins to have a full impact on your career and life-goals. There’s much more to this but I’m mentioning it here as this suggests another facet of this feeling of alienation, especially currently.

Don’t worry though ! I feel very strongly that, even if or though this feeling may not entirely leave you, during the next few years you’ll surely begin to understand it more and to find your niche in this strange world of ours.

Best,
Admin.
"Don't let the illusions of your past or future rob you of the infiniteness of your present." [Unknown]
MajorTom
Posts: 17
Joined: Sun Jun 16, 2019 7:57 am
Contact:

Re: Feeling like a guest

Post by MajorTom »

Hello Admin,

Ah, thanks for the trivia! Actually, to my own surprise, I’ve never actually read anything about Vertex; so I’ve just googled it, and it seems to have something to do with important experiences as I understand, “Depending on where it falls in your own chart, the Vertex brings "attractions and encounters", not necessarily romantic or physical contacts though. It may go from

- friendships and people entering your life (especially with your Vertex in the 5th or 7th house).

- patronage (especially with the Vertex in your 6th house).

- to material gain and spiritual messages from the Universe or psychic connections (especially when the Vertex is in your 8th house)
.”

This is so interesting, because since I started to find out more about his music and persona, I had this peculiar impression that they’re somewhat familiar and very relatable for me, and feel weirdly personal even, like my own experiences. Typing that out made me realize how peculiar that is. So it’s funny that there’s that conjuction


But back to the original issue: so that cluster in 9th house is one of the major points in explaining it then. I guess I’ll read more on that house. With such moon it does feel weird indeed. And yes, that Uranus-Jupiter-asking-myself-why-do-I-actually-question-it-all is there too.

Actually yes, for some reason I often find myself falling into thinking about such things right after facing some issues within family, it’s like it becomes a catalyst for that.

Now to South and North node - luckily I had already researched those already, and they sort of explain a lot as well. Those “other-worldly” feelings can be very disorienting at times; I’ve become more aware of them in the past year, and have realized that although sometimes they’re great to be engulfed with (such a great resource for different things I do like writing poetry/prose, music, making drawings etc; I’ve also started to understand why people actually say that I daydream often, although I was sure I doesn’t really show), they can also be overwhelming. Such daydreaming is definitely a double-edged sword. And dealing with relationships can be puzzling too, especially with “normal” ones. Again, that just adds to feeling weird around others. But North node’s not simpler, maybe even more difficult to deal with than SN: the concept of strict schedule and routine truly terrifies me, although I do get a slight satisfaction from successfully carrying them out when I have to (maybe because I know that mostly I’m quite terrible with them hahhah). But yes I’m aware that I need those things in my life, it’s quite messy without them actually. I know I need them, yet still afraid of them.

Thanks, I’ll read on Uranus as well


Yes, so many questions: from about omnifarious things in my life to thinking about things beyond my actual life etc.


Thank you so much again for taking your time and writing all out! Hope you’re having a great day.
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