I love acting but

[MajorTom]

Hello everyone; I’m curious if there’s something from my chart that could explain how both my intuition and active, conscious mind work. I know that my intuition is very strong, and it barely ever misleads me (for some reason that doesn’t concern matters of me being hired somewhere, etc: for some reason I think that, say, my interview won’t be successful, but then it turns out people eventually hire me). There are moments though, when my conscious mind starts interfering with it, questioning my desires and decisions, thus either making me very sad that what I _feel_ is right may actually be not right for me, or triggering very exhausting repetitive thought loops. In short, that’s overthinking I suppose. But then I question myself “but what if that’s actually your intuition??”

For instance, recently I’ve started practicing acting. I loooove it. There are some things in my life that feel strangely personal for me, and this thing has quickly become one of them. I immerse myself in the process itself, and it feels so right, like some sort of lost but very dear part of me. Even my tutor said to me after the first lesson that it’s like I’ve been here [drama school] already. And the thing is, I would only be happy to continue doing it, but I’m terrified of thinking how to... incorporate it into my life more, as in pursuing it professionally. I’m afraid of taking the wrong route, and I’m already all over the place: I’ve majored in graphic design and currently work in this field, but the job is so damn draining, it’s not that part of design that I Iove at all. I like designing, but not what I do now. I cry occasionally because I understand that I just physically can’t work regular days, doing tasks I hate. But I need money right now - for a musical instrument (because I want to continue writing my own music), and now the whole acting stuff. I actually wouldn’t be able to start participating in it at all if I didn’t have money. I want to keep all the things I love; I actually feel happy just playing music and performing in theatre, but I have no clue how to structure it in a way to make it profitable. I know and feel that I’d be genuinely content and happy just doing these things (and also drawing), but I need the structure. It’s so hard to even start planning how structure it. Maybe because I can’t actually predict a lot of stuff? People say that I’m overflowing with creativity, that’s true I guess, but there are aspects of it which are just awful. It’s very hard for me live in a world like this, where I have to stress myself out doing stuff I hate just for making money so I could finally feel at ease in evenings playing music, acting or drawing. And furthermore, I would like to do all of those things for my whole life, while making others happy. But those damn finances

And right now I’m totally confused as to what part of myself to trust. I don’t know anymore if it’s my gut feeling telling me “don’t do it” (continuing with acting), or if it’s my tendency to overthink.

God I’m all over the place here

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[anandmalhotra]

You just need to do two things:-
Eat more and more of green vegetables better if eaten raw or half cooked.
Help and serve elderly people.
You will achieve what you want.
God Bless!!!

[MajorTom]

Thanks for your reply; well yeah, I’m quite thin and people tell me to eat more all the time, but I guess I eat just enough (I don’t really restrict myself in that regard). But I’d eat more raw vegetables actually

I love helping! Will keep what you said in mind.

Thank you for your reassurance. Hope you’re having a great day